My emotions are reacting odd to various things lately, simple phrases, memories, etc. Thoughts that used to make me smile make me frustrated, and the opposite. It's strange to me to feel this way and have it unchangeable. I think I'm contemplating my own existence and how I got to this point far too much and that's taking away from my happiness.
I don't think that I'm emotionally stable, as my thoughts change from one second to the next. Violence and pain haven't been in my dreams lately, but certainly in my day dreams. I banged my head earlier, and it made me miss that feeling. That taste of blood in my mouth, the warm numbing sensation and throbbing that comes alongside swelling and adrenaline. It's alarming, but expected that I feel this way. At the same time rain on my shoulders is near orgasmic, every nerve in my body responding politely to the cold drops.
I don't really expect anyone to read this, just the ramblings of a near madman.